You Can't Make This Up Archives - Page 34 of 34

Man Sues B of A for “1,784 Billion, Trillion Dollars”

Reuters: ” Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America’s customer service — really, really unhappy. Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.”

Environmentalists Seek to Wipe Out Plush Toilet Paper

Washington Post: “There is a battle for America’s behinds. It is a fight over toilet paper: the kind that is blanket-fluffy and getting fluffier so fast that manufacturers are running out of synonyms for “soft” (Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the first big brand to go three-ply and three-adjective). It’s a menace, environmental groups say — and a dark-comedy example of American excess.”

Soup Kitchen Cited for Giving Illegal Meals

The Connecticut Department of Public Health cited a St. Vincent de Paul Soup Kitchen because it was feeding people with “some donated food served on site is not prepared in licensed kitchens.” Like most charitable organizations that feed the poor, some of the food given away by the soup kitchen was prepared and donated by people who just want to help. It’s these people who are the “unlicensed kitchens.” The government is threatening to shut down the soup kitchen.

Lawsuit Claims High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes are Racist

I’m not making this up. As further proof that lawyers deserve their bad reputation, and the U.S. has become “bizarro world,” I give you Arlington County, Virginia vs. the Federal Highway Administration and the Virginia Department of Transportation. The lawsuit alleges that the government defendants did not conduct a proper environmental analysis and that “their actions also constituted civil rights violations as they discriminated against minority and low income communities.”

A lawsuit filed by Arlington County last month claims the lanes benefit wealthy white people and discriminates against minorities. While the only rule to get in the HOV lanes on Interstate 395 is you must have three people in the car, Arlington claims adding HOT lanes would cut out poor and minorities by defacto.