You Can't Make This Up Archives - Page 32 of 34

6 Year Old Suspended 45 Days for Bringing Camping Utensil to School

New York Times: “Finding character witnesses when you are 6 years old is not easy. But there was Zachary Christie last week at a school disciplinary committee hearing with his karate instructor and his mother’s fiancé by his side to vouch for him. Zachary’s offense? Taking a camping utensil that can serve as a knife, fork and spoon to school. He was so excited about recently joining the Cub Scouts that he wanted to use it at lunch. School officials concluded that he had violated their zero-tolerance policy on weapons, and Zachary was suspended and now faces 45 days in the district’s reform school.”

October 13, 2009, update: “A school board member says a Delaware first-grader who was suspended for bringing a camping utensil to school is likely to get a reprieve.”

New York Bans Bake Sales in City Schools

New York Times: “There shall be no cupcakes. No chocolate cake and no carrot cake. According to New York City’s latest regulations, not even zucchini bread makes the cut. In an effort to limit how much sugar and fat students put in their bellies at school, the Education Department has effectively banned most bake sales, the lucrative if not quite healthy fund-raising tool for generations of teams and clubs.”

Criminalizing Everyone: The Orchid Police

Washington Times: “‘You don’t need to know. You can’t know.’ That’s what Kathy Norris, a 60-year-old grandmother of eight, was told when she tried to ask court officials why, the day before, federal agents had subjected her home to a furious search. The agents who spent half a day ransacking Mrs. Norris’ longtime home in Spring, Texas, answered no questions while they emptied file cabinets, pulled books off shelves, rifled through drawers and closets, and threw the contents on the floor. The six agents, wearing SWAT gear and carrying weapons, were with – get this- the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.”

The heavily armed federal agents were searching for Orchids!

See also “Liberty and Hyperbole: Is Orchid Importer George Noris a Good Example of Rampant Criminalization of Innocent Conduct?”

Dr. Charged with Medicare Fraud for Overcharging by $22

Yakima Herald-Republic: In 2006 federal prosecutors charged Dr. Rosa Martinez with multiple felonies for defrauding Medicare and Medicaid and improperly prescribing controlled narcotics. She was convicted of eight felony counts, but the judge threw out all of the convictions and ordered a new trial. Because the doctor had run out of money, she was forced to plead guilty to three misdemeanors involving overcharging by $22. She was fined $25 for each of the three misdemeanors. The judge said to the doctor in court:

It’s clear to me you are the type of person who believes the medical practice demands spending time with patients. You seek to provide the best medical treatment for them.

Recently Senator Tom Coburn, one of two physicians in the U.S. Senate, cited studies suggesting that Medicare and Medicaid fraud will cost the government about $100 billion in 2009. Don’t y0u feel better knowing that Uncle Sam is allocating its scarce resources to prosecute diligently the fraudulent doers?

Town Bans Kids from Trick or Treating

KDKA Channel 2: Bobtown, Pennsylvania, officials banned trick-or-treating this year because they want to keep everyone safe. Why don’t they ban driving automobiles? Wouldn’t that save more lives? The number of kids who die in car accidents greatly exceeds the number of kids who die from trick or treating. See the video.