You Can't Make This Up Archives - Page 26 of 34

Jury Orders Tobacco Company to Pay Woman Who Smoked 25 Years $300 Million

From the I injured myself, but somebody else must pay for my stupidity department. SunSentinel.com: “The sister of former Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle on Thursday won a $300 million jury verdict, the largest individual win in the Big Tobacco lawsuits in Florida. Cindy Naugle, an office manager and bookkeeper at Layton’s Garage in Fort Lauderdale, sued Philip Morris, owner of her cigarette brand of choice, Benson & Hedges. Naugle was found only 10 percent at fault for taking up smoking when she was 20 years old.”

Wood Police Raid Gibson Guitar Plant

Nashville Post: “Feds raid Gibson offices – Iconic company investigated for illegal importation of Madagascar wood. Sources say the Nashville-based guitar manufacturer is being investigated for violating the Lacey Act, a key piece of environmental law, for importing endangered species of rosewood from Madagascar.”

See “Where Were You When Wood Became a Felony?”

Woman Standing on Tracks & Hit by Train Sues Railroad

A woman who was hit by a train while standing on railroad tracks taking pictures sued the railroad for $6 million because it did not post a no trespassing sign.

Where Were you When Wood Became a Felony?

Classical Values: “Henceforth, all wood is to be a federally regulated, suspect substance. Either raw wood, lumber, or anything made of wood, from tables and chairs, to flooring, siding, particle board, to handles on knives, baskets, chopsticks, or even toothpicks has to have a label naming the genus and species of the tree that it came from and the country of origin. Incorrect labeling becomes a federal felony, and the law does not just apply to wood newly entering the country, but any wood that is in interstate commerce within the country.”

Man Moves Near SFO Airport & Sues over Jet Noise

Man buys house near the San Francisco airport for $1.475 million and apparently claims he was unaware of the airport jet noise that is the basis of his lawsuit. How does that happen? Oakland Tribune: “Stanley Hilton, 60, of Hillsborough, said in unique court papers that his wife of 13 years divorced him and took their young triplets with her last year because of ’round-the-clock’ jet noise at SFO. He also blamed his recent health and professional woes on the air and noise pollution, which he compared to bombs dropping in a war zone. Hilton last week sued SFO, Hillsborough, the counties of San Mateo and San Francisco, dozens of airlines and jet manufacturers, and the real estate agents and couple that sold him his home on Darrell Road for $1.475 million in April 2003.”