You Can't Make This Up Archives - Page 2 of 34

FBI Conspires with Informats to Commit 5,638 Crimes in 2011

USA Today: “The FBI gave its informants permission to break the law at least 5,658 times in a single year, according to newly disclosed documents . . . . Agents authorized 15 crimes a day, on average, including everything from buying and selling illegal drugs to bribing government officials and plotting robberies.”

The days when the United States was subject to the rule of law are gone. The federal government breaks the law with impunity and the President, the Department of Justice and Congress does nothing.

Man Arrested For Twin Brother’s Crime

Findlaw.com: Mitch Torbett was arrested in Tennessee for a crime committed by his identical – and deceased – twin brother. He’s suing authorities for the 36 hours he spent in jail and according to this article, he won’t likely win.

No Criminal Charges Filed by Justice Department after $1.2 Billion Stolen from MF Global Investors, but It is Prosecuting Woman Who Alledgedly Harassed Whales

Did you know the Department of Justice has the whale police? I didn’t until I read this story called “Corzine Steals Billions Sans Charges, Errant Whale Watcher Faces Prison.” Instead of prosecuting the people who stole money from MF Global investors or the people in the Justice Department and the Bureau of Alcohol Firearms and Tobacco who approved and carried out the Fast & Furious plan to violate federal criminal law and sell guns to the Mexican drug cartels, the DOJ is wasting taxpayer dollars prosecuting a woman investigated for harassing whales. Yes, really.

“marine biologist and whale watching ship captain Nancy Black faces 20 years in prison, not for ‘harassing’ whales (which believe it or not is a crime), but because she has been charged with lying to Justice Department prosecutors investing allegations that some of her crew members whistled at a whale to keep it hanging around their boats. . . . Section 1001 charges are both entirely discretionary and subsidiary to any primary charges, making every indictment an act of selective prosecution. In fact, Section 1001 prosecutions are so selective that primary charges are not even necessary, meaning you can go to jail even if there is no underlying crime. Ask Martha Stewart about that.”

Title 18, Section 1001(a) of the United States Code states:

“whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the Government of the United States, knowingly and willfully—

(1) falsifies, conceals, or covers up by any trick, scheme, or device a material fact;

(2) makes any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or representation; or

(3) makes or uses any false writing or document knowing the same to contain any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or entry;

shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than 5 years or, if the offense involves international or domestic terrorism (as defined in section 2331), imprisoned not more than 8 years, or both.”

The reference above to Martha Stewart refers to the fact she was investigated for possible insider trading, but was never charged with that crime. Instead, she was charged and convicted of the felony of lying to federal agents.

10-Year-Old Charged With Felony After Stealing Bicycle

CBS Tampa: “A 10-year-old child was arrested and charged with felony burglary after stealing a bicycle while leaving his tricycle at the scene of the crime in order to get away successfully.”

Halloween Related Lawsuits

ABA Journal: Halloween can be fertile ground for lawsuits.

There have been suits over neighbors’ Halloween displays, suits over haunted house injuries, and suits claiming sexual harassment due to remarks about Halloween costumes, according to an article in the New York State Bar Association Journal.

Cases from the last several years include:

• A Florida woman sued her neighbor for defamation, harassment and emotional distress because of Halloween decorations that included an insane asylum sign that pointed to her yard and a fake tombstone with an inscription she viewed as a reference to her single status. It read, “At 48 she had no mate no date/ It’s no debate she looks 88.”

• A man who created tombstones lampooning his neighbors filed a First Amendment suit against police for asking him to take them down. One of the tombstones read: “Bette wasn’t ready, but here she lies ever since that night she died, 12 feet deep in this trench, still wasn’t deep enough for that wenches stench!” The Chicago-based 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled the police officer was entitled to qualified immunity.