You Can't Make This Up Archives - Page 10 of 34

Turkey Thiefs Win $4.25 Million in Lawsuit Against Turkey that Owned the Turkeys

Ralph Dupps’ pet turkeys bugged his neighbors, Robert and Jennifer Klippel. The Klippels birdnapped the turkeys and set them free in a wildlife preserve. Dupps filed a police complaint and had the Klippels arrested for petit larceny. The Klippels spent about ten hours in jail. Naturally, being good American citizens who have been born and raised in our litigious society, the Klippels did what comes naturally and sued Dupps for a whole bunch of stuff. A court just awarded the Klippels $4.25 million! More proof that we live in a wonderful country where litigation is always the answer to every problem. Good luck collecting the judgment.

Moral of the story: A bird stolen from the hand is worth $4.5 million – to the thief.

City Council In Illinois May Ban Eye-Rolling

Forbes: “Citizens’ right to sigh in exasperation also threatened. . . . Reportedly, Darlene Helsop had hoped to speak to the finance committee about its plan to hire a state lobbyist, but wasn’t given the opportunity to do so. She sighed and rolled her eyes, to the great irritation of committee chairman Stephen Hipskind. “Making faces behind the mayor’s back is disruptive, in my opinion,” he said, and he ordered Helsop to leave.” The city council apparently asked its attorney if it could change it rules to ban eye rolling as disorderly conduct.

Senator Who Served in Vietnam Evasive on Paying Taxes on His $7 Million Yacht After Getting Caught with Hand in Tax Cookie Jar

Boston Herald: “John Kerry bails on taxing questions. Sen. John Kerry, hounded by questions over whether he is dodging state and local taxes on his ultra-luxe $7 million sailing yacht, yesterday slammed his car door on a pack of reporters demanding to know if he would pony up to the cash-strapped commonwealth. . . . Kerry . . . wouldn’t specifically address whether he’d cough up some $500,000 in state use and local excise taxes.”

See “John Kerry – A One-Man ‘Benedict Arnold’ Corporation.”

Update: “Sen. Kerry to pay taxes for docking yacht in RI.” See also “He’s Apologizing for Getting Caught.”

Audit Finds US Cannot Account for $8.7 Billion of $9.1 Billion Spent on Iraq Reconstruction

Here’s a perfect example why nobody in their right mind wants the U.S. government to be in charge of anything important other than national defense. An audit finds that the U.S. has no clue on what happened to $8.7 billion of $9.1 billion spent on reconstruction in Iraq. Really! This is not a joke.

Government Insanity – Small California City Pays Three Employees $1.6 Annual Salary

More proof that the taxpayers exist to pay for the ruling class. Orange County Register: “the city manager of Bell [California], Robert Rizzo, receives a salary of $787,637 as the top bureaucrat in a city of about 38,000 residents, mostly Latinos. Bell’s Police Chief Randy Adams makes $457,000 a year while Assistant City Manager Angela Spaccia gets $376,288. This might not sound like a lot to you but Bell is one of the poorest cities in L.A. County.” That’s a combined salary of $1,620,925 for the three imperial city workers. The police chief makes more than the head of the Los Angeles (population 3.8 miillion) Police Department. Four of the five members of the part time city council make almost $100,000 a year. When Rizzo retires, he will become the highest paid retired California employee at over $650,000 a year.

See “California Official’s $800,000 Salary in City of 38,000 Triggers Protests.”