Richard Keyt, Author at KEYTLaw's Blog

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So far Richard Keyt has created 75 blog entries.

Taj Still Lives! And He’s Running for Arizona Attorney General

I just learned from a post on Above the Law that Tajudeen “Taj” Oladiran, a current candidate for Arizona Attorney General, has the dubious distinction of filing a motion in federal district court last year that was one of Above the Law’s five best motions of 2009. Above the Law says this about the five motions “We’re not in the business of filing pleadings at Above the Law, but there were five motions in 2009 that were outrageous enough to justify posting here.” The five motions are:

Motion to Compel State’s Attorney to Drop His Accent
A Surprisingly Smutty Motion to Dismiss
Motion to Compel Defense Counsel to Wear Appropriate Shoes at Trial
Plaintiffs’ Motion for a
[sic] Honest and Honorable Court System
Best Motion to Continue. Ever

Above the Law also said, “we were surprised that he would file one of the craziest motions we’ve come across here at Above The Law.” After reading the candidate for Arizona Attorney General’s motion in the case of Oladiran vs. Suntrust Mortgage, Inc., I agree. Taj needs another year of motion writing in law school. Here are some gems from his motion:

The motion is titled “Motion for a [sic] Honest and Honorable Court System”
He said the case was assigned to the “Dishonorable Susan R. Bolton”
It was filed “pursuant to the law of, what goes around comes around” I must have been absent from my law school class the day the professor discussed this law because I’ve never heard of it.
“I am very disappointed in the fact that a brainless coward like you is a federal judge.”
“I apologize to all my clients. I know, I’m sorry does not repair the mess”
“To my family, words can’t express my apologies; please remember me kindly.”
“Finally, to Susan Bolton, we shall meet again you know where :-).”

Above the Law sought feedback from Taj and Taj responded. See Above the Law’s “Taj Lives! (And He’s Pissed), which contains a lengthy diatribe by Taj, including background from his perspective on the Oladiran vs. Suntrust Mortgage lawsuit. Taj’s background makes for interesting reading. For example, he says that after Suntrust loaned him $760,000 to buy a second home and his monthly loan payments went from $2,000+ to $9,000+, he “began researching the law governing the facts of my case. Surprisingly, what I discovered is that while my actions were financially dumb . . . .” A lot of non-lawyers could have reached that conclusion without researching the law.

Food Police’s Next Target – Hot Dogs

The nutters have a new scare they want us to be aware of – hot dogs. The Associated Press reports that the American Academy of Pediatrics wants the federal food police to make “sweeping changes in the way food is designed and labeled to minimize children’s chances for choking.” Even though hot dog makers put warning labels on their packaging, it’s not enough for those who want to run our lives. The AP story says over 100 children under 14 die from choking on food. Hello! Yes, people can choke to death if they swallow food the wrong way. Every adult, teenager and child over four who is of sound mind knows that you can choke if food “goes down the wrong way.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics says the dangerous food items include hot dogs, grapes, carrots and apples. It warns parents to cut these foods in little pieces the size of peas. The AAP would ban giving popcorn, marshmallows, hard candies and peanuts to young children. Note to AAP: Don’t forget to warn that the child should only eat one pea-sized bite at a time – stuffing ten pea-sized bites into the mouth at one time could be dangerous. This raises the medical and scientific question of how many pea-sized food items can a young child safely put in his or her mouth at once? Is it only one or maybe three? Does the answer depend on the age or sex of the child and the capacity of the mouth cavity? Can you smell the need for the federal government to give multi-billion dollar grants to research an answer?

The AAP also wants the Food and Drug Administration to recall dangerous food items, including items that are dangerous because of their shape. The story says that suckers that are flat are safer than suckers that are round. Are you listening Tootsie Roll Pops? Here come the trial lawyers making America safe for lollipop lovers. Will Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc., be the defendant in a class action law suit because of the shape of its suckers?

See “Surely You Must Be Choking” in which the author states:

sidewalks are tripping hazards, and puddles are slipping hazards, and trees are bumping-int0 hazards. The minute you decide to get up off the floor and sit on a chair (falling hazard) or couch (fire hazard) or go out the door (big, wide world-hazard) you are taking your life into your hands.

Real LA Food Police Target Mobile Food Vendors

The Los Angeles police have apparently eliminated crime in their jurisdiction because they now devote a lot of man/woman police hours to busting mobile food vendors who sell from vehicles. I can’t wait until NBC makes a one hour TV series about the LAPD food police called FIU, short for Food Investigation Unit. I’d like to see Megan Fox as an undercover food cop doing stings on unsuspecting mobile food perps. Will the LAPD target mobile lemonade stands or school bake sales next?

California Latest State that Wants to Tax Amazon’s Sales to CA Residents

Amazon does not collect or pay California sales tax to purchasers who are residents of California. State law makers estimate that near-bankrupt California could collect $150 million or more if it could force Amazon to collect the tax or give information to California that would allow the state to go after residents who do not pay the sales tax. A 1992 United States Supreme Court case says that a state cannot require an out of state business to collect state taxes if the business does not have a connection (nexus) to the state. Amazon does not have any personnel or offices in California.

California is not the only state that recently has tried to ignore the law of the land and try to force out of state businesses to rat on in state customers. New York, North Carolina and Rhode Island passed similar laws. Virginia, Illinois, Colorado and Hawaii are considering taxing out of state businesses. It’s more evidence that respect for the rule of law in the United States is declining. The governing elites of these states are saying “damn the law, full speed ahead because we desperately need the money to pay for our deficit spending addiction.”

The reality is that companies like Amazon and Overstock.com are not the parties that are affected by these laws. The basis the tax and spend states use to claim they can tax the out of state businesses is the outrageous claim that Amazon and Overstock have a presence in the state because they have “affiliates” in the state. These companies offer affiliate programs where an affiliate places links to Amazon or Overstock products on the affiliate’s website. If a website visitor clicks on a link and purchases a product, Amazon or Overstock pays a commission to the affiliate. This type of tax just doesn’t work. Amazon and Overstock have terminated all affiliates in states that pass this type of unconstitutional tax. The bottom line is that when a state passes this type of law, the affiliates in the state are fired and no longer receive commissions that would produce income tax for the state. Result: No affiliate income from commissions means less income to affiliates means less income tax for the state.

For more on this subject, see the story in the Los Angeles Times called “Lawmakers want to tax Amazon sales in California.”

Update: The California Senate passed the Amazon tax on February 18, 2010. Virginia is also considering an Amazon tax. See “”Amazon Tax Unconstitutional and Unwise.”

So Many Hitler Parody Videos – So Little Time

In 2004, director Oliver Hirschebiegl made a movie in German called “Downfall.” A lengthy scene from this movie has been used over and over again by people who make subtitles that tell a story quite different than the actual words spoken in German by the actors. Mr. Hirschbiegel loves that people are using his film to make parodies. He says people constantly send him links to new parodies. He has seen over 145 Hitler parodies. His favorites are:

Hitler learns the Michael Jackson died

Hitler cannot get Billy Elliott tickets

Before you create your own Hitler parody, you should know that Constantin Film, the owner of Downfall, frequently demands that website remove the Hitler parodies because they infringe on its copyright. See “Just how many Hitler videos does the world need?” The New York Times story called “The Hitler Meme” looks at this topic from a different angle. Here are some other Hitler parody videos.

Hitler responds to Apple’s new iPad

Hitler mistakenly makes a public post on his Facebook account that he meant to be private

Hitler learns that Jay Leno will replace Conan O’Brien on the Tonight Show

Hitler finds out Kanye West Disses Taylor Swift at the VMAs