U.S. Department of Justice Seeks to Hire Mentally Retarded Trial Lawyers for Voting Division

From the United States is doomed department.  There is evidence of hope and change at the United States Department of Justice today.  The U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division, is seeking up to 10 experienced attorneys for the position of Trial Attorney in the Voting Section in Washington, D.C.  These attorneys will be responsible for enforcing the voting laws of the United States.   The ad states:

The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply.  Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine.

In case the DOJ idiots realize that maybe mentally retarded lawyers trying voting rights cases might give the other side a distinct advantage and cause the idiots to remove the online ad, you can find a pdf copy of it here on my website.  The text below is taken from the online ad for trial lawyers at the DOJ.  Note the duties that the trial lawyers must perform.  I submit that the requirements of the job may be over the heads of most mentally retarded trial lawyers.  Note:  I recognize that there are people who would say that all lawyers are retarded.

The Civil Rights Division is primarily responsible for enforcing federal statutes and executive orders that prohibit, among other things, unlawful discrimination in voting, education, employment, housing, police services, public accommodations and facilities, and federally funded and conducted programs. The Voting Section enforces federal statutes designed to safeguard the right to vote. These statutes include the Voting Rights Act, as amended; the National Voter Registration Act; the Uniformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voting Act; and the Help America Vote Act.  Trial attorneys are responsible for conducting investigations, litigation, and other activities addressing all aspects of the Voting Section’s enforcement duties. These positions may require extended hours and some positions may involve significant travel.

The core duties of Trial Attorneys in the Voting Section are: conducting investigations to assess alleged violations of the Voting Rights Act (VRA) and other voting statutes enforced by the Section, including reviewing investigative files, materials and records, and applying relevant case law, interviewing witnesses, requesting additional information and documents, analyzing data and evidence, and drafting written recommendations for further investigation and/or enforcement litigation; developing cases for trial, including conducting written discovery and depositions, developing litigation and trial strategy, drafting complaints, motions and other court filings, representing the United States in federal court at arguments, evidentiary hearings and trial; negotiating settlement agreements and/or consent decrees resolving enforcement matters; assisting in coordinating the federal observer program during elections; and assisting in the administrative review of voting changes submitted pursuant to the preclearance requirements of the VRA. The complexity of the matters assigned, and the level of supervision required, varies depending on the Trial Attorney’s years of specialized experience.

REQUIRED QUALIFICATIONS:

Applicants must possess a J.D. degree, be an active member of the bar in good standing (any jurisdiction), and have a minimum of three (3) years post-J.D. experience. Applicants must have substantial litigation experience, such as handling discovery, litigation strategy, motions practice, brief writing, interviewing witnesses, taking and defending depositions, trial preparation, trial practice, and negotiations. Applicants must have excellent interpersonal skills, be mature and self sufficient, communicate effectively orally and in writing, and possess excellent professional judgment.

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS:

In addition, the following qualifications are preferred: (1) substantive knowledge of the Voting Rights Act (VRA) and other statutes enforced by the section; (2) familiarity with the various analytical approaches utilized to review voting changes under Section 5 of the VRA; (3) experience investigating and/or litigating voting rights or civil rights cases; (4) federal judicial experience; (5) experience serving as the lead attorney in federal court cases; (6) familiarity with statistical methodologies used in civil rights cases; (6) and fluency in Spanish, Chinese, Korean, or vietnamese languages.

The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply.  Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine.